‘Twas the night before Christmas when all through the flat

Not a creature was stirring, not even a cat

‘It’s so disconcerting’, Lynne Pussycat said

‘They’re being so quiet it fills me with dread…’

‘You’re awfully suspicious!’ said RR to Cat

‘They’re being angelic, let’s leave it at that!’

 And so off to bed went the whole family

And left out for Santa a large G&T

A carrot for Rudolph, a plate of mince pies

‘Cos from the North Pole it’s a long way to fly!

But then at some godawful hour in the morn

(Don’t know when exactly, but way before dawn…)

A tremendous commotion broke out in the flat

‘Oh, what the heck’s happened? And where are the cats?’

RR ventured forth, to have a look-see

And discovered the kitties had toppled the tree

Had trashed all the presents and munched the mince pies

And sent Santa’s G&T soaring sky-high

Till it fell to the floor in a broken-glass puddle

Those dastardly cats, what a horrible muddle!

They were charging around as if they were possessed

Leaving in their wake such a terrible mess…

 And so Christmas morning, at quarter past three

Was spent re-erecting the darned Christmas tree

Re-wrapping the presents, and calming the cats

Restoring tranquility throughout the flat

And two hours later, both tucked up in bed

Lynne Pusscat and Richard lay down weary heads

And said as they snoozed off and turned out the light

‘Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!’